Monday, October 20, 2008
Mixed Feelings Today
Happy Monday All....I hate Mondays...This is my last week at my job....We close for the winter and it is going to be rough trying to find a new job....Well on with my life....THe weekend went pretty good....No fighting and no drinking....But today is his day off and I am afraid that drinking is what is on his mind...I just can't handle someone that drinks like that...I love this man so much but that part of him I hate.....He may not be an everyday alcoholic but he is an alcoholic....When he starts drinking he don't know when to stop....It wouldn't be so bad if he was a normal drinker....You know drink a few and go to bed....Oh no....He drinks and stays up for days....Use to he would stay home and do it....Well now he goes to friends house in our apartment complex....Might come home at 2 or 3 in the morning...Wakes me up knowing I have to work the next day....It doesn't matter the alcohol has control and my feelings and stuff don't count......I told him this last time the drinking had to stop but I am not even sure that did any good....He is always talking that we need God in our lives to make it.....Well he is not even putting effort forth to make that happen...I can't say much because neither am I at this point....The way I see it is....I can't make my life better and still be in this situation.....I just don't know from day to day anymore...I sit and worry myself to death over this crap.....I need strength is what I need....God please give me the strength to do what needs to be done in my life......Till next time......
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2 comments:
I don't know why but updates on your entries aren't showing up on my dashboard and may not be on Terri's or Sherry's either. I just clicked on your icon on my follow this blog and found you had written an entry.
Knowing this is the last week for your job I'm sure is also making you feel depressed. Hopefully, you will be able to find work and this will relieve some of the worries that are on your mind.
Hugs
Debbie
Hey Pam!
Mom was right, your entries wasn't showing up on my dashboard either for some reason..I didn't know you had written till she told me.
Wishing you all the best in finding a new job I really hope you find something you like doing and something that pays well...
I hope that he listens to your needs and tries to control his drinking as he knows how much it affects and hurts you....
Asking God to give you the strength you need to get through each and every day and also hope and Faith so that you will be able to see much brighter days...
Always here for ya girlie!
Hugs
Terri
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